"Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and for living on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD?---
Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I."
-Isaiah 58:5-9
I have frequent highs and lows throughout the year; this week was a low. A few unanticipated incidents burst open a cage of emotions and thoughts that I had been avoiding or subconsciously suppressing. God is revealing that, though he is healing me from wounds of the past, there is still much more healing to be done.
This healing is not about "moving on" from a periodic trauma and maintaining a constant sense of joy and containment (though they are parts of the process), but about becoming progressively and wholly pleasing to God in my thoughts, words, and lifestyle, for his glory. Though this so-called 'healing season' in my life has been undeniably fruitful, this week I was reminded that God, though he may heal and sanctify me, never wants me to forget how broken I am in every aspect of my life without him.
Many times this week, I felt so helpless. And as I felt this spirit of despondency creeping into my inner being, my words turned ugly and the so esteemed structure in my lifestyle tweaked until it became noticeable to those around me. But this morning, I feel inspired and driven to get my acts together and trust in God's love for me, for his love is great and TRANSFORMING.
As He picks me up once again, I will seek a continual hunger for Christ. I pray that my hunger will not last "only a day," only a season in my life, but will bear a fruitful, life-long testimony of God's splendor and glory, his great unfailing love for a broken people.
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